Queens: A Great Place to Retire

One of my favorite pastimes is getting people all riled up and annoyed. I actually enjoy it.

As an individual who works in the publishing industry, I get to attend many a trade show and have the opportunity to meet and talk with all different types of people. This past Saturday at an exhibit in Lower Manhattan, I spoke with an educator who mentioned she lived in Queens, one of the outer boroughs of New York City.

I decided to have a little fun with the middle-aged woman and tell her that Queens was a place I had never heard of. The conversation went like this:

Me: Queens? Where is that?
Her: What?! You don't know where Queens is? Where do you live?
Me: Brooklyn.
Her: For how long?
Me: A few years.
Her: And you've never been to Queens? Where did you grow up?
Me: Jersey.
Her: And you've never heard of Queens...
Me: No. Is there an airport or something there?
Her: (Angrily) Yes, there are two!
Me: Oh, I think I know where it is. What is Queens like? Is it little?
Her: No! It's huge!
Me: Is it quaint?
Her: Some parts.
Me: Is it dangerous?
Her: There are all different parts - some nice, some not!
Me: How do you get there? Are there roads and trains?
Her: YES!
Me: What kind of people live there?
Her: All kinds! It's a melting pot.
Me: Is it mostly retirees?
Her: What the hell are you talking about? There's all kinds of people of all ages.
Me: Is it very rural?
Her: NO - it's part of the city!
Me: Are there like a lot of farms and stuff?
Her: THERE ARE NO FARMS IN QUEENS!
Me: Do they observe daylight savings time there?
Her: I'm finished with this discussion. Get in your damn car and take a ride through if you're so interested!

That was the highlight of my day. She walked out of there agitated and convinced that I, an individual that lives in Brooklyn and grew up in the greater New York City metropolitan area had no idea where Queens was and knew nothing about it. At least she had a story to tell her friends last night over dinner at a Greek restaurant in Astoria. I can picture her now talking to her friends. "There was this IDIOT representative at this exhibit this morning who lives in Brooklyn and has never heard of Queens! He was asking the most asinine questions..."

I don't know why I decided to do that to her, but these shows can be boring and I get my kicks by being sarcastic. For the record, I know Queens fairly well and visit quite a bit.