The Golden Child

Every family has a child who is favored by his or her parents, whether they admit it or not. This theory almost never ceases to be true. Think of any family that you know and pick out who the "golden child" is. It should take no longer than .0006 seconds for you to figure this out.

About the golden child: It's usually a boy, but there are exceptions to this rule. The child is either the smart, attractive, athletic one who is the CEO of a hedgefund or the one with the tattoos who smokes a lot of pot who does those weird clay sculptures. For whatever reason, the parents just love that child more.

No parent ever would admit this (and they may never realize it), but the children always know who it is and outsiders can always tell. Who can do no wrong? Who gets away with the most? Who is talked about with praise incessantly? Who needs the most attention and support? That is often the golden child.

The the best example of a golden child in American literature has to be Willy Loman's oldest son in Death of a Salesman, Biff. Biff Loman had it all growing up. He was handsome, athletic, charming and most importantly, well-liked. Willy was constantly encouraging Biff and defending Biff for his wrongdoings. When Biff stole a football from his school, Willy thought it was fine because his son was the quarterback who needed to practice his passing. When Biff flunked math, Willy was the first to blame the teacher.

Meanwhile Biff's younger brother Happy was constantly trying to get his father's attention. During flashback scenes in the play, Willy was talking and laughing with Biff as Happy tried to gain the attention of his father."I'm losing weight, Pop, you notice?" he asked more than once. His father did not. He was too consumed with Biff's athletic endeavors and his popularity at school.

As you know, Biff turned out to be a drifter who would never figure out what he wanted to do with his life. He failed math and never graduated high school because Willy let him down. He then went out west and came home intermittently. Happy, despite his philandering ways, had a decent career and somewhat of a future. Who was still the favorite? Yep. Biff. Once the golden child, always the golden child. He can do no wrong.

I often wonder who was the golden child in the Menendez family. I no little about the case besides what I heard on the CBS evening news 15 years ago. Was it Lyle or Erik?* Maybe they were the exception. Maybe both children were hated equally. They did, after all, kill their parents. But I wonder if one of them was more hesitant about it than the other?

I am sure O.J. Simpson was the golden child of his family and despite what he has done, he still is. Again, once the golden child, always the golden child. I'm sure his mother wouldn't believe that he committed those two murders even if she saw it happen in front of her eyes.

In my family, I am clearly the golden child and I certainly enjoy it. My mother speaks of me often and fondly, even though I have not really accomplished anything that impressive. My poor sister has to live with this for the rest of her life. (I think our father is equally disappointed in both of us, but at the end of the day, I think I win.)

I believe that it is decided the day that child is born whether or not he or she will be the favorite. I think parents just know.

It feels good to be golden. I hope I turn out a little better than Biff Loman.

*Probably Erik because no parents would name a child they are supposed to love "Lyle," except for maybe Lyle Lovett who would be the golden child no matter what.