Degentrification

As much of an advocate for gentrification I am, I can't help but think that it must have been mighty interesting to live in New York City (and other cities across America) during the Sixties and Seventies just to watch the decline. Frankly, I get tired of hearing about places that are "up and coming" and improving. I'm tired of cutesy little shops (shoppes) and coffee places with fair trade coffee and organic muffins taking over our sleazy bodegas and fried chicken joints.

Will all of New York City look like 68th and Lex in 20 years? That's the direction we are headed in this city. I think blight (in moderation) adds character and urban character to a city. If it's all too quaint, what do we have? A large version of New Hope, PA or Woodstock, NY (both only a two hour drive away from Manhattan).

It is nice not to look at graffiti on every subway car and to not have to step over urinating crackheads in every station, but sometimes our subway stations look just a little too sterile and family friendly. Everything is family (and Midwestern tourist) friendly in New York City these days. Times Square, formerly a haven for drugs, prostitution and X-rated book stores, now resembles a suburban strip mall complete with a McDonald's, a Chevy's, an Applebee's, a Foot Locker and a Disney Store. This can all be found on route 46 in Parsippany, New Jersey and on route 591 in Addison, Wisconsin. (At least there's parking there.) Perhaps they can tear it all down and put a Wal-Mart in its place.

Three decades ago, people were scared of this city. It must have been pretty fucking scary here. Neighborhoods were burning, the city was bankrupt, crime was at an all-time high and crack was hitting the streets. Everything was dirty and dingy. Here are a few ways things have changed.

• Neighborhoods such as the South Bronx and Bushwick were not thought of as the next haven for artists and hipsters; they were war zones.
• Fifth Avenue in Park Slope and Smith Street in Carroll Gardens were not lined with expensive boutiques and restaurants.
• DUMBO was not invented yet.
• No one was trying to turn Coney Island into Vegas-by-the-Sea.
• Whites were moving to Long Island and Jersey en masse.
• There wasn't nothin' cool about Red Hook, Brooklyn or Long Island City, Queens.
• Times Square was a vibrant, interesting and often dangerous place.
• No one had ever heard of Bernie Goetz.
• Some neighborhoods didn't have wine shops yet.
• Cops had more important things to do than write me tickets for not wearing a seat belt as I move my car from one side of the street to the other (to avoid a parking ticket).

So, can't we leave a few neighborhoods alone and make the gentry stop? Let everyone out of Rikers at once and drop them off in Park Slope, shut down the force in the 72nd Precinct and let 'em run wild. See what happens. I would pay to see that. It would be like the Fifties through the Eighties all at once. One big degentrification project starting in November. We'll see what happens. It would be neat if the current residents of the Slope were not warned ahead of time. I am giddy just thinking about it. Maybe I'll write a letter...