Playing the Cancer Card with Parking

Sometimes in life, no matter how strong you are, you have to take advantage of adverse situations.

Two weeks ago, right before Christmas I decided when parked five feet into an illegal zone to put a note on my windshield that stated, "Please do not ticket this car: It's Christmas and I have cancer." How could a police officer be so cruel as to ticket that car? Well, for once, I wasn't ticketed. Maybe no officers came by my street that day or perhaps the cop was touched by my note and decided to be nice for once in his life. Or maybe the cop didn't believe the note but found it to be one of the more creative ways someone has tried to get away with parking illegally. Whatever happened, it worked.

And then a few days ago as I was exiting the short term parking lot of Terminal 1 at John F. Kennedy International Airport, I could not find my ticket. Bear in mind that new technology at the airports makes it possible for them to tell exactly how long I have been parked and what I owe exactly (it was $6 that day for me) based on my license plate alone. However, because I wasn't in possession of the little ticket, they made me pay $30, the price it would have been for me to park for eight hours instead of the one and a half I was actually there.

I tried reasoning with the curmudgeonly parking lot attendant and then I requested her supervisor who came right over. They would not budge. I even offered a 10 dollar bill and told them to "keep the change." Then as a last ditch effort I added, "but I have cancer." It didn't work that time. She said, "I'm sorry to hear that but you owe $30, cash or credit card?"

I slipped my Visa into the card reader and took my receipt, opened my sunroof and all the windows, lit a smoke, reclined my seat, put on Peace Frog by the Doors and turned my engine off. I was going to sit there until I got my $30 worth. Then of course after a minute, they forced me out and told me to just go and try to enjoy my day.

I did as I was told and thought to myself that it all evens out in the end when you have cancer and troubles with parking.

The next day I had chemo and I didn't have any small bills for the valet and...ahh nevermind.