I too have a dream.

On Monday we Americans celebrated a holiday to honor the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blacks and whites alike took this day off to return unwanted Christmas presents, clean their attics, get there cars washed, etc.

Few people could argue that Martin Luther King Jr. was anything less than a heroic figure in American history, so why are all the most dangerous streets in America named after him?* White people, no matter how liberal they may be, instinctively avoid going down streets bearing his name.** Let's face it; they can be pretty goddamn scary. The same goes for other positive black role models such as Frederick Douglass. Malcolm X, in my humble opinion is a toss up.

Martin Luther King Jr. deserves to have streets that are actually nice and safe named after him while the bad streets should be named after less favorable African American figures. Here's a list of street names that should be in some of the worst ghettos in the country.

• OJ Simpson Terrace
• Rodney King Lane
• Latrell Sprewell Street
• Mike Tyson Avenue
• Old Dirty Bastard Parkway
• Bryant Gumbel Road***
• Bobby Brown Boulevard
• The Ike Turner Turnpike
• Clarence Thomas Drive
• Allen Iverson Way
• The Marion Barry Esplanade

Let me know if I forget any. Sammy Davis Jr. never hurt anyone right?

*Strangely enough, in Austin, TX, the Martin Luther King Boulevard is pretty genteel.
**Except for me because I have a sick compulsion to seek out dangerous areas.
***Not that he did anything bad in particular, but just because he is an asshole in general.