However, whenever I go out to bars within a 10 mile radius, I run the risk of running into people that I truly do not care about and would rather not see. Every time I see one of these people, it's the same conversation.
Me: So... What are you up to these days?
Person I Don't Care About: Oh ya know, working, you?
Me: Yeah, same.
PIDCA: Where ya living these days?
Me: I'm over in Brooklyn, you?
PIDCA: Hoboken.
Me: Cool. I go there sometimes. My girlfriend used to live there.
PIDCA: Oh where about?
Me: She was on 10th and Washington...
PIDCA: Oh wow! I'm on Bloomfield between 6th and 7th.
Me: Oh that's not far. Well, I'm gonna go out and smoke a cigarette.
PIDCA: Ooh, do you have an extra one for me?
Me: (muttering under breath) Nothing has changed since high school.
And it's the same conversation with everyone. I really could care less whether Scott is selling medical devices or where Melanie is teaching or where Tom went to grad school at. I simply don't care. I only want to hear about people who are worse off than I am. I want to hear about people that got kicked out of college for plagiarism and then got charged with rape and is now a registered sex offender who couch surfs because his parents kicked him out of the house...
From now on when I go home, I am going to carry a recorded message with me that states what I am doing so I don't have to go through the whole thing again.
"I'm living in an "up and coming area" in Brooklyn, working for a text book publishing firm that has an agenda to rid themselves of me because I have cancer and they are worried that I am a high-risk employee whose illness will cause loss of revenue for the company and that their insurance premiums will go through the roof."
Short, simple and to the point. I can't wait for the 10 year reunion.
2 comments:
Nothing like the obligatory conversation with those PIDCAS. The idea of a recorded conversation is genius, maybe the dj of one of those bars could play it over the system so everyone gets the message at once...
OR
you could escape to bernies..
You can never escape... even at Bernie's! If there is no DJ available, pehaps have a pile of little memos (typed and printed of course) prepared to hand out in the inevitable event of a PIDCA encounter. The recorded conversation might be hard for one to hear over all the holiday-weekend bar noise.
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