You might not be a gentrifier if...

A few weeks back I did a list of "You might be a gentrifier if..." Now I am going to do the opposite. So here goes.

You might not be a gentrifier if...

• You make lots of noise in public (i.e. subways, movie theaters and restaurants).
• People can hear the bass thumping from your car from four miles away.
• You live in squalor but have still drive a $70,000 car.
• You smoke menthols.
• "Shorty" is a predominant part of your vocabulary.
• You're excited that a Dunkin' Donuts is taking over that cutesy little coffee shop on the corner.
• You have a very thick accent.*
• You really like bling.
• You could care less about organic produce.
• You consume more orange soda than water.
• You don't have health insurance but you have all the cable stations.
• Your subjects and verbs often do not agree.
• You wear a do-rag.

*Excluding most European accents