After 15 years, several therapists and God knows how many hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of psychoanalysis, my current therapist articulated what she thinks is wrong with me.
I am passive aggressive.* Yes, passive aggressive. But apparently I have a lot of pent up hostility and anger and instead of being hostile and petulant all the time, I redirect those feelings in a congenial way to subtly irritate those around me without them really noticing. (They may notice, but I'm so goddamn pleasant, that they can't fully hold me accountable.)
Apparently, I am angry at my mother, a woman I admire and adore, who would do anything for her son. I am angry at her because she is nervous and thus made her children nervous. I turned out to be a neurotic, self-loathing, depressive, prematurely bitter, self-entitled obsessive compulsive.**
This passive aggressiveness could work out in my favor. Now that I'm pretty much finished with the whole cancer thing, I could use my passive aggressive nature as an excuse. "Sorry I was late to work today, I got caught up redirecting my pent up hostility towards innocent bystanders." "But officer, you see, I was speeding because I secretly resent my mother for being so overbearing."
When I suggested that everyone is passive aggressive to a degree, my therapist simply shook her head and said that they weren't. Who is to say that I'm wrong?
*No one really knows what that precisely is, but people use the term constantly.
**But I'm still not as damaged as my sister.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Gas Is Cheap
If I hear one more person complain about the inflated price of gas, I'm gonna buy them a one-way ticket to Europe and send their Tahoe on a boat behind them. Let's face it guys, gas is cheap. Yes, you read correctly. GAS IS CHEAP. If it weren't, people would have to make actual lifestyle changes.
Ask yourself this question: Do you know one person that the price of gas is actually affecting adversely? Oh the person that bitches and complains about paying $4.29 a gallon? Yeah, everyone is complaining, but does it actually affect anyone?
It will cost a few hundred extra dollars a year. Boo hoo. Do you know one family who is not going to be driving all over creation this summer in a 15 mpg Land Cruiser or equivalent? No, they will be driving down to LBI every weekend just like they did 10 years ago when the pumps read $1.09. And they won't be spending any less on entertainment either while they're down there.
I think people are happy that gas is so expensive now. It gives us something to talk and complain about. Remember the winter of '94 with all the ice storms? It's kind of like that, except now we can blame the government instead of God. Someone has to be held accountable, right?
I asked my father the other day how much it cost to fill up his 382 horsepower, 5.5 liter V-8 Mercedes with premium fuel and he furrowed his brow and had to think about it for a minute. This morning he called me up to tell me that it cost him $70 at "one of the cheaper places" and then kind of laughed. Are gas prices affecting people like him? Apparently not. He doesn't drive that much anyway and he has a few extra dollars.
Then there are people like my sister - an elementary school teacher with a bit of a daily commute. What is her response to the increase in gas prices? Something along the line of "I haven't really noticed and whatever it is it is." Interesting how two people at very different ends of the socioeconomic spectrum have pretty similar responses to the gas prices.
Then people whine, "But what about the hard working people in Iowa that drive 200 miles each way in a pickup truck to work that have to support 12 kids, eight cats, seven dogs and four chickens?" My answer: What about them? It's still not affecting them because I don't see too many of these guys driving Civics and Corollas.
What will it take for us to actually start giving a fuck about gas prices. Scratch that. What will it take for gas prices to actually start affecting our lives? It needs to go up to $10 a gallon. Anything less and gas will continue to affect us no more than mild weather changes, as much as we like to complain about it.
Ask yourself this question: Do you know one person that the price of gas is actually affecting adversely? Oh the person that bitches and complains about paying $4.29 a gallon? Yeah, everyone is complaining, but does it actually affect anyone?
It will cost a few hundred extra dollars a year. Boo hoo. Do you know one family who is not going to be driving all over creation this summer in a 15 mpg Land Cruiser or equivalent? No, they will be driving down to LBI every weekend just like they did 10 years ago when the pumps read $1.09. And they won't be spending any less on entertainment either while they're down there.
I think people are happy that gas is so expensive now. It gives us something to talk and complain about. Remember the winter of '94 with all the ice storms? It's kind of like that, except now we can blame the government instead of God. Someone has to be held accountable, right?
I asked my father the other day how much it cost to fill up his 382 horsepower, 5.5 liter V-8 Mercedes with premium fuel and he furrowed his brow and had to think about it for a minute. This morning he called me up to tell me that it cost him $70 at "one of the cheaper places" and then kind of laughed. Are gas prices affecting people like him? Apparently not. He doesn't drive that much anyway and he has a few extra dollars.
Then there are people like my sister - an elementary school teacher with a bit of a daily commute. What is her response to the increase in gas prices? Something along the line of "I haven't really noticed and whatever it is it is." Interesting how two people at very different ends of the socioeconomic spectrum have pretty similar responses to the gas prices.
Then people whine, "But what about the hard working people in Iowa that drive 200 miles each way in a pickup truck to work that have to support 12 kids, eight cats, seven dogs and four chickens?" My answer: What about them? It's still not affecting them because I don't see too many of these guys driving Civics and Corollas.
What will it take for us to actually start giving a fuck about gas prices. Scratch that. What will it take for gas prices to actually start affecting our lives? It needs to go up to $10 a gallon. Anything less and gas will continue to affect us no more than mild weather changes, as much as we like to complain about it.
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